What If You’re Not Late? What If You’re Right Where You’re Supposed To Be?
I finally did it. I worked so hard for this moment.
And now I’m walking down the aisle.
I feel kinda like a celebrity with all the paparazzi.
My heart is pounding as they hand it to me, this piece of paper that took me six years of blood, sweat and tears.
I flip my tassel to the other side.
I really accomplished something. So many “gen-eds”, the dreadful math classes, all finished.
I got my degree.
No, not a Masters. An Associates.
Just hours after graduation, someone asks me, “So what’s next?”
…? What’s next?
…Is hitting a person wrong?
I just want to enjoy my Associates degree for a little while.
“Getting my bachelors,” I answer. That’s the right answer, isn’t it? *Ding ding ding*
Days later, I’m looking through Facebook, and I can feel the air seeping out of my graduation balloon.
Images bombard me of friends proudly holding up their Bachelor’s diplomas. Somehow theirs looked bigger than mine.
I feel like I’m lagging behind everybody.
I hear someone whispering, You did good, but you’re not quite there yet. And I realize, it’s me.
This feeling comes over me every spring. College graduates are everywhere, like lemmings.
Comparisons SUCK.
You either feel proud because you’re higher than someone, or you feel lousy because you’re lower.
I don’t even have to compare myself to others to feel behind.
No, I can compare myself with an earlier version of me. And then I still come up short.
I look at what I’ve accomplished in the past and hear, “You’re not going to be able to do that again. Forget it. It’s all downhill from here.”
My mini-me, a two ft tall clay sculpture, is sitting in my studio, staring at me.
As I work on a much smaller clay piece, I keep looking over at her, and I wonder, Will I ever do anything like that again?
I feel like I should be further than this. And thoughts like that only stifle my creativity.
I can’t make art when all I’m thinking about is why I haven’t made more art.
Instead of telling myself, “I’m so behind,” what if I said, “I’m not behind, I’ll create it when the time is right.”
If something is meant to be, it will be. It’s not meant to exist until it does exist.
Why does life feel like a rat race?
It seems like we’re often in a hurry to get somewhere we’re not. Wherever we are, we need to be on our way someplace further, and better.
It seems like there are certain milestones in life that we are all expected to reach: graduating college, getting married, having a career, having kids, the list goes on and on.
And anyone who doesn’t reach these milestones feels odd.
Who even made up this list?
It’s like we’re all trying to fit a mold.
I’m realizing this is only what some people assume is normal. When the truth is, there is no normal. Our lives are all different, not cookie cutter. You are unique. Please be you.
Taking a walk the other day, my mom and I talked about comparisons, something we both struggle with.
And I thought, “What if we’re not running behind? What if we’re all just on different tracks?”
Maybe we should just get rid of clocks. Especially the ones with alarms on them. Clocks just make things worse.
I say let’s take the power away from our clocks!
A ticking clock is not a reason to do something.
Clocks are meant to help us schedule, not run our lives.
The secret is contentment
It’s really not what others have or what they’ve accomplished that gets us down. It’s what we tell ourselves.
When we see our friend’s new __________ on social media, what are we telling ourselves?
“I should be doing that,” or “How come I don’t have that yet?”
If we have something in mind that we must attain before we’ll be happy, then we’ll never be happy.
As soon as we reach that bar, we’re just going to move it further, to the next thing. That’s our human nature. We’re annoying like that.
When I think about things I’m thankful for, I’m in a much better place. I feel peace, that I am right where I’m supposed to be.
If we’re truly thankful, there is no room for comparisons.
When we are dwelling on someone who’s further down the road than we are, it’s a good time to take out a piece of paper and list the things we’re thankful for. Think about what we have now, and just how far we’ve come.
And then we’ll see, we have come a long way, baby.
What about you?
Do you sometimes feel late?
Do you struggle with comparisons?
Do you ever feel like the world is moving too fast?